end of a long weekend?

It's a holiday today since GMA declared it, so tomorrow (the official holiday) we can all work (mas madali, mas masaya daw) *sigh* Some weekend this is turning out to be. For starters, my PMS is wreaking havoc on my emotional and mental state that i fear my demise is coming. For another, the stress factor hasn't exactly diminished this weekend, since i keep thinking about a lot of things -- work, my sweetie's impending leave for the States (it's only 3 weeks, but still!!!), and yes, my current spending spree. Yargh.

Ok, so let's breakdown: The work thing has stressed me out since i had to work Saturday afternoon (against my will, mind you) and left my sweetie exploring greenhills by himself. I feel bad, guilty at the least, because i promised myself that given he has only a week left, we'd be spending time together. *sigh* This compounds stress factor #2. Because of the work, we rarely spend time together, and whenever we do, i get childish and fight over the most mundane things (due to stress factor #1) I know i shouldn't feel this way, but sometimes i get depressed that a), i can't spend as much time with him as i can and NOT be picky; and b), soemtime she can be insensitive about the whole thing. By that i mean, he's physically here, but his brain is somewhere else already.

I am happy and excited for him that he'll be seeing everybody familiar again and all that. I just feel weird about being with someone whom you know isn't "here" as you are. I mean, i feel like i'm an accessory to his existence for the time being. Like all people, i want to be valued in the company i am with, and as much as i try to be noncholant about all this, i can't help but feel miffed. At times it gets soo bad that i feel that i should just leave him alone for the rest of the week so he can thoroughly enjoy himself without having me to disturb him... Still, as much as i would think that, i find myself feeling guilty and bad for not supporting him and being happy for him. Hence, you see my demise here. So what is my final answer? I will try to be more supportive and happy, even if its kills me. Hopefully, his insensitivity will pass (either that, or i may totally control myself from being too bitchy about a lot of things)*sigh* I love the guy. He drives me nuts sometimes, but i love him. Pass me the prozac, will you?

Anyhoo, to have something to do for the weekend, we decided to venture out to the malls and do the xmas shopping bit. Never was i soo overwhelmed about spending! For everybody: It is BAD to do your xmas shopping if you are stressed out or having bizaare mood swings. I ended up doing so much damage to my wallet that until now i am in awe of how much i spent for gifts. YARGH. Despite all this, however, i was able ot spend time with my sweetie, and for that i am glad.We pored over gifts and nice pasalubongs for his family and friends, and i got to buy some cool gifts for my family and friends too. We enjoyed a good late lunch (@ Cibo!) and yes, even managed to check out some stores at oh-so-busy MEgamall without losing our wits. Quite an accomplishment, considering it was a Sunday, and a sale at that!

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My friend Lucee posted this recently and i think it's lovely:

nostalgia
Heart be still
your senseless beat is beginning to
irritate my senses, sending false signals
touches of fire woven into my belly of sighs
laments and unspoken wants.

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